Seasons of Transition: Coming face-to-face with

my Money Story

& Stepping into Purpose

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As I reflect on the past year, Spirit has encouraged me to be honest with myself and truly examine an ongoing cycle I have struggled with most of my adult life, and finally overcome it.

so, you wanna change your life? you must first work on your self-concept and reprogram your subconscious mind. OH! and ignore your 3d circumstances. ignore them.

Does awareness of a thing make circumstances worse?

This season of metamorphosis has forced me to come face to face with my “money story” and the relationship with my finances. Although I have consciously been taking steps towards changing money habits for a number of years, the past year has solely been my focus and determination getting to the root. I have had to confront deep rooted thought patterns that have negatively affected me in adulting. While I have never had a problem saving and investing, my challenges lie in coming up with creative ways to create a consistent income for myself outside of having a j-o-b.

As I address my self-worth, I have taken on new practices, immersing myself into a healthier money mindset. This has forced me to step back from my apothecary, which has been very challenging to say the least. My days have been invested in reading books, taking coaching classes, learning about Human Design and what being a Projector means, and diving deeper into understanding the Laws of the Universe– specifically The Law of Assumption. I’ve been studying cymatics, doing a great deal of shadow work, listening to subliminals, binaural beats, solfeggio frequencies, visualizing, scripting, journaling, constant affirming, and using techniques like Illeism and practicing romanticizing life.

I have consciously invested more energy into my art, my writings (will I finally publish something in 2024?), and picking up unfinished projects as a form of therapy to stay grounded, present, and keep my sanity intact.

The irony about doing the work is that my 3D circumstances have gotten worse. (I partly suspect Moldavite for this, but I will discuss that in another post.) Whenever you’re working diligently towards something, you want to see the fruits of your labor, and when you don’t see movement, it can make you question all that you have invested. I am aware that things take time, but when it comes to having your physiological needs met, there is no compromise.

ANCESTORS LEAVES

I give myself permission to have what I’ve always desired.

great! how long is this going to take before i start seeing results? my income has done something like come to a complete stop. I’ve been unable to pay my bills, i haven’t eaten in days, and now i’m about to be evicted. ____________________________ you are the magickian. visualize your bills already being paid. visualize yourself eating your favorite foods. feel into it.

How To Unfuck Yourself

Pivoting my thoughts and habits has forced me to also observe the money stories of my immediate family, and honestly it has been ugly. We truly live what we think, speak, and believe; and most don’t even realize the death and destruction they speak into their own lives. Knowing this information is helpful because we each have the power to change it. My frustration has been the need to know the maturation period, this stems from the Capricorn Sun in me. I mean if I’m putting in the work, and we all know I am going above and beyond to see this through– I need to know all the parameters.

I am sure it varies by person, but I have read it takes 21 days to change a habit and although that “may” be true, seeing the fruits of that change is what? This experiment has proven to me that the brain and the subconscious mind takes quite a bit of time to unfuck yourself.

Many folks online preach that you do not need to take any actions– that you don’t need to work to make an income, that you can quite literally sit on your ass and money will rain down from the heavens. They say this is done because God is our instant and everlasting supply, so by that fact alone, we are abundant and whatever we desire is already ours– we just need to call it to us. {Matthew 7:7, “Ask and it shall be given.”} While I do not doubt that anyone has been able to make large sums of money appear from nowhere, in fact I find it inspiring and very motivating, unfortunately I still have some ‘Abracadabre-ing’ to do.

Another way to manifest (or co-create) is Quantum Jumping. Some believe you don’t need to do the shadow work nor work on self-concept because The Multiverse houses infinite versions of existence all at once, thus all you need to do is step into another state of existence. But then how does one quantum leap to their desired timeline? The most popular answer I found when researching this is ‘embodying the state’ or ‘living from the end.’ and BOOM! This comes from Neville Goddard’s teachings, which again I find inspiring. This takes consistent practice, meditation, tuning into the body, the emotions, and the mind.

My faith has been stretched and I have had to address my trust, my confidence, and self-doubt many times. I have been out of the corporate world since 2014 and although it hasn’t always been easy, I have been able to provide and care for my needs. I don’t know wtf happened this year. I mean, what the actual fuck?!? It’s as though the very thing I was working towards moved farther from me, making this year’s finances utterly brutal.

I have questioned so much about my future and the future of Ancestors Leaves. I have sat with myself and asked am I truly in alignment with my soul’s calling. I love being in my apothecary and sharing holistic living with the collective, but true joy comes when I’m empowering others and serving my community. In my heart of hearts, I feel as though what I have built in Ancestors Leaves is secondary to who I truly am and what I should be doing.

I attribute much of my insights to a year of microdosing. The deeper I go with the Spirit of Fungi, the more I can recall childhood memories and childhood aspirations. I am reminded of my Virgo North Node and my love for humanitarianism. I literally was brought back into a memory of when I was four years old and knew then what my calling was. The mushrooms also shed light on how I have perfected the art of detachment, disconnecting myself from creating meaningful connections– I blame that on my Aquarius Rising. Lol… it’s a double edged sword, on a macrocosm level you’re singing Michael Jackson’s “Heal the World” yet at the same time on a microcosm level people are dumb AF and ugh! And while we’re here, can we acknowledge that I myself am the example of an Oxymoron. I’m a Capricorn Sun with an Aquarius Rising– I mean, “How TF does that work exactly?” I am constantly warring with myself. Literally!

I have wondered if this is why my abundance has been held back. Am I utilizing secondary gifts withholding parts of myself that should be front and center. The answer lies within the question and this revelation has left me heartbroken, as if I have failed myself in some way.

this is a faith walk, love. you’re going to have to keep, let go, and trust the process. there is no instant gratification in nature. ask for help if you need it. they say god will meet you there. good luck!

Closing & New Direction

As I enter the next chapter of my life, I am willing to explore and invite experiences that allow me to engage, grow, and thrive in humanitarian efforts. Ancestors Leaves will transform as needed, continuing its evolution into its next phase. Even though my thoughts, habits, and actions have transformed as a result of the diligent work I have proudly invested in myself this year, I eagerly await my rewards. A consistent message that continues to come through is: “You’re About to Receive Everything You Have Been Praying For.” The average person would be excited to hear this, but I have to admit– this has pissed me off. Something coming is not the same as something here, TANGIBLY.

I feel like my spirit has been nudging me to take part in a local community project, which I have obediently obliged and in search of. So the assumption that ‘no action’ needs to be taken is unfortunately not true for me at this time. It’s much harder to take action when financial resources are limited, or non-existent in my case, yet I shall figure it out.

And so, I confidently call back my power and let go of all my fears. As I actively practice new habits of self-worth and take actions to connect with my community, I stand firm knowing I am deserving of the prosperous and abundant life I feel and see in my heart. It’s never too late to go in the direction of your soul’s calling, and so here I go.

I am grateful for fungi medicine and I trust that my prayers of safety, security, and stability have been answered and are here. I trust God will not forget me in my time of need. As my season of transition concludes, like the Phoenix, I shall fiercely rise and soar in the direction of my heart’s desires.

If you are experiencing a metamorphosis, I invite you to download Ancestors Leaves ‘Seasons of Transitions” booklet. I created this guide of valuable information to encourage and inspire daily actions and habits you can adopt towards consciously creating the life you desire and stepping into alignment with your highest self.

ancestorsleaves.com

Seasons of Transition